Heres' whats happening in India today thats' a classic but sad reality of childrens' childhood being snatched away in the name of "their future ". The frenzy of greed and ambition sweeping India today , is also taking its toll on the children.
Every parent wants only the ‘best’ for their child and so they push their kids to study hard to get into the ‘best’ school or college . So does eveyone else .So parents push harder. So does everyone else. So they send their kids to "after-school enrichment programmes and special camps ". And so does everyone else. So they borrow money to send to special and high profile schoools. So does everyone else . So they nag their youngster to take up music or sports that will make him/her distinctive . They hire coaches and tutors for that . So does everyone else .......atleast those that not have gone broke yet !!. End result ....children so tortured by parental aspirations ,actually lose interest in all things forced on them for the sake of "future” and some of them may even commit suicide (as is happening ), unable to come up with the performance expected by their parents . Its become like a Mexican wave .... the front row of spectators in a stadium standing up for a better view , resulting in all the remaining rows also standing up and finally everyone is standing ....not sitting , but NO ONES POSITION HAS IMPROVED . Alas ! If only people would calm down and let their children be children ! Children blossom in different ways & at different speeds. Sometimes it takes getting lost for a while , before the path gets illuminated . Lots of the paranoia is unfounded, and is driven by the modern media .
Every parent wants only the ‘best’ for their child and so they push their kids to study hard to get into the ‘best’ school or college . So does eveyone else .So parents push harder. So does everyone else. So they send their kids to "after-school enrichment programmes and special camps ". And so does everyone else. So they borrow money to send to special and high profile schoools. So does everyone else . So they nag their youngster to take up music or sports that will make him/her distinctive . They hire coaches and tutors for that . So does everyone else .......atleast those that not have gone broke yet !!. End result ....children so tortured by parental aspirations ,actually lose interest in all things forced on them for the sake of "future” and some of them may even commit suicide (as is happening ), unable to come up with the performance expected by their parents . Its become like a Mexican wave .... the front row of spectators in a stadium standing up for a better view , resulting in all the remaining rows also standing up and finally everyone is standing ....not sitting , but NO ONES POSITION HAS IMPROVED . Alas ! If only people would calm down and let their children be children ! Children blossom in different ways & at different speeds. Sometimes it takes getting lost for a while , before the path gets illuminated . Lots of the paranoia is unfounded, and is driven by the modern media .
Let children be children . Not "machines for accomplishmnets" that we try turning them into nowadays . When parents mortgage their "present" due to unfulfilled desires , its the children who end up paying the 'interest' .Dont panic about their future . Give children encouragement , a good "home"to grow up in and teach them the art of 'positive thinking' .Thats' it. They will never let you down .
All those stressed-out, overwhelmed parents trying raise their kids according to the experts advice , heres’ some points to ponder about . There are way too many parenting books, and even more advice, out there, most of which parents should ignore. You're going to mess up anycase , so get over it, relax and enjoy the process. Most important is - giving your time to your children .
Due to the information explosion , parents Google stuff and end up with million things that say if you don't raise your kids this way, they'll end up ugly, stupid jobless etc .Result-:Most parents today are overly, and unnecessarily, worried about damaging their childrens’ future and yet the first step to becoming a better parent was to let go of that fear first .
"Modern parents just want to do the best, because the "rat-race " they are in, makes them strive for social status , achieved if not through material possessions , then through the performance of their children in any sphere ...academics , sports, music, acting etc .
We've become paranoid parents. And this fear from the parents feeds into the children. And we make them also into cowards, living in eternal fear. We hear about scary things a lot more than in the old days, and fear is great, from a commercial point of view, because it makes people buy stuff. "We've become such a risk-averse society when it comes to children, its doing more harm than any good to them .
The solution? Let your children be children . Hold the child in the thought of wisdom and strength that he/she may be able to meet any condition in LIFE and master it, instead of being mastered by it. Show them yourselves by example that you can boldly face any circumstances in Life instead of being cowered by Life. Let them make mistakes, let them fall and get dirty, and most importantly, have a lot more faith in them -- in yourself-- and in Life . Ignore the modern media or atleast be aware of the negative effects of the media on you and your family . Awareness or consciousness about positive thinking , will help you through practise kill the negative thoughts as and when they occur . The happier you are, the happier they are. So you must stay sane and HAPPY at all costs.
Many of the simple pleasures of LIFE are being eroded away today because we're so frightened, anxious, and self-doubting.......all thanks to the modern media and modern lifestyles .
And this is what AZIM PREMJI - the Chairman of WIPRO Ltd had to say in this regard. Its really worth reading , specially for those parents , who are fully engrossed in the current "rat-race" with social comparisons everyday and are forgetting that their child is still a child who also needs time to be mischievous , playing , falling, getting up, relating, discovering, inventing, doing, enquiring , exploring, etc .
If you are a parent, you have many aspirations for your child that may include him or her becoming a doctor, an engineer, scientist or another kind of successful professional. I believe these aspirations are driven by your thinking about your child's future, and her centrality in your life.
Since good education is often the passport to a good future, I presume it leads you to getting your child admitted to a good school. Then you encourage your child to study hard and do well in school exams. To bolster this, you send him or her for tuition classes. This would have primed your child for board exams and entrance exams, thereby leading to admission into a good professional course. Doing well at college increases the probability of landing a good job. And a good job means the child's future is ensured.
I am neither a psychologist nor an educationist, and what I will now state may seem counter-intuitive. I think that these aspirations and actions might be doing more harm than good to your child. To understand why, we need to re-examine some of our fundamental assumptions. In the first place, I have seen time and again that living for some distant future goal also means you do not live in the present. The distant goal will always translate into an external measure of success, such as exams. And most exam-focused children start forgetting what it means to be a child.
Childhood is very precious; precious enough not be wasted by the artificial pressures of contrived competition, by too many hours of bookish study, and by school report cards that simplistically wrap up an entire human being in numbers.
The second assumption is that education is merely a ticket to socio-economic success. Given the state of our country, this reality cannot be ignored. But restricting education to only this aspect is, I think, a very limiting notion of the aim of good education. The primary purpose of a school is to guide the child in her discovery of herself and her world, and to identify and nurture the child's talents. Just as every seed contains the future tree, each child is born with infinite potential. Imagine a school which sees children as seeds to be nurtured - here the teacher is a gardener who helps to bring out the potential already present in the child.
This is very different from the current view which sees the child as clay to be moulded - where the teacher and parents are potters deciding what shape the clay should take. There is an old (and forgotten) Chinese saying: ``Give a seed to a potter, and you will get only a bonsai.''.
Even in a commercial organisation, to make profits we do not have to chase profits. Rather, we need to build an institution that gives every employee an opportunity to do meaningful and fulfilling work. Create an organisation driven by values of innovation, integrity, customer centricity and care. And as you practise these values everyday and moment, you will see that the profits take care of themselves.
Similarly, dear parent, this is my request to you. Do not give up your child's present to secure his or her future.
Give your child the freedom to truly explore life with abandon. In doing this, you will see your child flower into a creative and sensitive human being. And when this happens, everything else - money, social success, security - will fall into place automatically.
I am neither a psychologist nor an educationist, and what I will now state may seem counter-intuitive. I think that these aspirations and actions might be doing more harm than good to your child. To understand why, we need to re-examine some of our fundamental assumptions. In the first place, I have seen time and again that living for some distant future goal also means you do not live in the present. The distant goal will always translate into an external measure of success, such as exams. And most exam-focused children start forgetting what it means to be a child.
Childhood is very precious; precious enough not be wasted by the artificial pressures of contrived competition, by too many hours of bookish study, and by school report cards that simplistically wrap up an entire human being in numbers.
The second assumption is that education is merely a ticket to socio-economic success. Given the state of our country, this reality cannot be ignored. But restricting education to only this aspect is, I think, a very limiting notion of the aim of good education. The primary purpose of a school is to guide the child in her discovery of herself and her world, and to identify and nurture the child's talents. Just as every seed contains the future tree, each child is born with infinite potential. Imagine a school which sees children as seeds to be nurtured - here the teacher is a gardener who helps to bring out the potential already present in the child.
This is very different from the current view which sees the child as clay to be moulded - where the teacher and parents are potters deciding what shape the clay should take. There is an old (and forgotten) Chinese saying: ``Give a seed to a potter, and you will get only a bonsai.''.
Even in a commercial organisation, to make profits we do not have to chase profits. Rather, we need to build an institution that gives every employee an opportunity to do meaningful and fulfilling work. Create an organisation driven by values of innovation, integrity, customer centricity and care. And as you practise these values everyday and moment, you will see that the profits take care of themselves.
Similarly, dear parent, this is my request to you. Do not give up your child's present to secure his or her future.
Give your child the freedom to truly explore life with abandon. In doing this, you will see your child flower into a creative and sensitive human being. And when this happens, everything else - money, social success, security - will fall into place automatically.
Let your child be a child first . We're parents. That's our job. Just like we have to survive our kids, they have to survive us. And if they make it past us, remember, then they'll be fine in all probability !!"
No comments:
Post a Comment